It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts
Today
in a client' session I heard myself say: A happy relationship with your
partner might be your goal but it is not the purpose of (relationship)
life. Let me explain.
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The journey that counts
The famous quote "It's not the destination but the journey that counts" leaves some questions unanswered:
- What is on the journey?
- What specifically counts as part of the journey
- What does it really mean?
Quotes are nice but often leave a lot to personal interpretation. Let's
have a look at that quote in relation to your relationship life.
It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts Relationship struggles
Whether intimate, casual or relationships with siblings, parents,
friends, colleagues, or employers - relationship are seldom easy. Even
the best of friends struggle with each other, have misunderstandings or
fights.
This is normal and to be expected.because It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts
Relationships, and specifically the closer they are, have the potential
within themselves to trigger and bring up any unresolved issues.
On your journey with relationship you will encounter struggles, sooner
or later, if you are not just leaving any relationship before it gets
close enough.
You see Mum and Dad
"Whatever you do, where ever you go, you see Mum and Dad and they see
you." This quotes describes transference we deal with in life on a daily
basis. The person you meet might remind you of your mother or father,
consciously or unconsciously and you are challenged with similar topics
to those of your relationship with mother or father.
You receive the chance to finish up the business you still have open
(=left unfinished) between you. These are the stops along your
relationship life, which will allow you to grow personally, no matter
who you are in relationship with and learning the lesson.
What's the connection between relationships and the purpose of life?
In intimate relationship, specifically with the person we feel closest,
we want to be happy, understood, seen, appreciated, nurtured, loved,
admired, listened to... basically have the our needs met. The goal might
be this ultimate relationship. The purpose however is that the same.
The purpose of your intimate relationship is to heal those wounds that
have been left unattainable. To become aware of them, we are triggering
each other's sore points (=wounds), mostly without Mal-intent or
conscious knowledge as It Is the Relationship Journey That Counts
Wounds you will encounter
There are only a few basic wounds or topic that the issues you're facing will fall under:
- Rejection
- Abandonment
- Humiliation
- Betrayal (of trust)
- Injustice
Some of those five wounds will interact or be experienced in combination.
In fact, it does not even really matter who you are relating to. If you
can embrace the purpose of learning and growing while relating, any
relationship will make a lot more sense.
Want to know more? Have a look at my website.
Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Counseling & Coaching' and specializes in Relationship Transformation and Grief Support. She is
working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Meta
Coaching, Transformational Counseling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to
Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a
supportive and professional environment. She is also the author of the
book 'Grieving Parents - Surviving Loss As A Couple'.
By Nathalie Himmelrich
You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging journey.
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