Working Towards a Healthy Distance Relationship
Distance, especially if a long one, is a real drawback in a relationship. It could end up in a homecoming or simply drifting away. In most cases where distance is getting into a couple's relationship, both must do some effort to work it out. It always takes two to tango and when one is left on the dance floor to dance with the beat, everything will soon prove to be a real show just to humor the one that stays to watch.
Though normally, people in this kind of situation find it hard to survive, the fighting-power of real love still works out magic in the end. However, we need not see things in its fairy view, but rather work out on it in a more practical sense. So we need to therefore take to take some time studying why things happen as they are? How we can prevent their happening? How we can handle the situation once we start facing it. It doesn't matter how a problem occurs or how many problems you had encountered but the real issue is how you deal with your problems.
Facing the Real Situation while
Working Towards a Healthy Distance Relationship
At the start, it could be that you are about to be in it, you are in it or you are in the verge of getting out of it. Whatever, the case you are in, you had to face the truth that you are facing a dilemma that only you and your partner can deal with. Even in a situation where only is left to face the problem, still you need to be tough to get on with life. Everything is not permanent, no matter what happens, you got to get moving. Life does not end in a difficult situation. Just as there's always a new morning, one day you will wake up on the brighter side of the bed. It only depends on you on how long you will hang on with those worst situations in your life.
Adjusting to Drawbacks in your Relationship on Working Towards a Healthy Distance Relationship
Before the situation
There are several drawbacks you had to contend with while you are in a relation. A long distance relationship is always so difficult to handle especially at the start.
How annoying it could be for you not to be able to see, do things or share activities with someone you love as you used to do before and suddenly everything stops because of the long distance that separates you from each other.
This kind of situation will put you and your partner on various test drive to see if you had patience, love and commitment to see through those days. Here again, you need to be more realistic and accept what life has to offer you. Be contented that you have someone to love. Know the real essence of Agape love. This does not deal only with its spiritual meaning but putting into practicality, Agape love connotes a kind of love that goes beyond time, distance and commitment. It's a kind of unconditional love.
Settle your mind with the fact that you are in love with your partner and you are happy with it. It's not easy doing this. It would depend on strong you are in letting your mind control over your emotions. You need to be stronger than who you think you are to do this. But somehow, through the situation you're in at the moment, you will find out the real you.
Communication Importance for Working Towards a Healthy Distance Relationship
Communication can be a great barrier in maintaining a relationship when it involves long distance to separate you. However, it depends on how you work it out to minimize if not totally eliminate problems caused by communication.
Even in our modern technology today, where gadgets are out in the market to settle your communication problems, still many conflicts arises from it. Communication problems seem to hover in every corner of your relationship to instantly subject you to a test of patience. How many times had you attempted to walk out of your relationship when your partner failed to receive your calls or reply back to your text messages?
Many ideas and thoughts would then run wild in your mild making you crazy as well, especially, when you are the jealous type. For both of you, you need to build up a strong communication in order to minimized arising of communication conflicts. Also establish a war plan that makes you both feel good after a fight
Always remember that you are not fighting for good but just a way of settling some issues. Fighting does not necessarily mean closing the door but opening up yourself on every lesson learned after each fight. Don't feel deeply aggrieved after each fight. You may start shouting each other and end up patting each other's back. Understanding each other's difficult moods help a lot to get over with difficult situations.
- Jealousy
If one of you is the jealous type, it could be very hard to maintain a long-distance relationship. You will always end up fighting over some silly matters. This can cause tension for both of you. When one is getting paranoid, conflicts may suddenly cause to ignite in the middle of any conversation. Paranoia is present especially when there is insecurity. To fight this, a little reassurance from a loved one won't hard. It's just natural for women to become paranoid when a loved one is far away and she can't see what's going on over there. A little delay in responding to a call or text would lead her to think that he's probably busy with another girl or he may have no more interest on you. Things like this hanging on your head can really create real trouble. To overcome this, your partner need to be understanding on what is going in you just as you need to understand what he is there for. Jealousy is a real relationship breaker and unless you find ways to fight this in you, you will surely end up ending your relationship.
Trust and Understanding is Must for Working Towards a Healthy Distance Relationship
Build a platform of long-time relationship based on real trust and understanding. Unless you truly trust the person you love and understand the reason for your separation, you will find your relation on the rock. Conflicts will not only arise from you and your partner but also from other people.
With trust and understanding comes honesty and confidence. It just follows naturally that when one is honest and loyal to a partner, he gains much confidence in himself or herself. With this confidence, you can give your trust and understanding to your partner. But if you are the type that plays on the role of infidelity, you will never learn to trust and understand your partner. In life, attitudes always reciprocate itself. What you are doing to others will be shown back to you.
- Homesickness and Loneliness
Homesickness also eats a large part of your brain. When you are longing for someone whom you can't see, your head will automatically goes back to what your partner is probably doing at the moment. If you are a positive thinker, you will be thinking of good memories but if you belong to other side of the attitude chart, you will start feeling paranoid, doubtful, jealous and ready to go into battle anytime he calls to communicate with you. It's funny to look back for reasons after each fight but as you look back, you will see that the reason that you had been fighting for is actually not with breaking the relationship which you long established.
Commit to a Healthy End Plan
A serious relationship means nothing with the absence of a real commitment. Feeling is unpredictable and may change any moment when subjected to various situations. Only real commitments can put a seal to whatever emotions and communications you had invested in your relationship.
In every healthy relation, especially serious ones, you need to have a goal. Your situation maybe is on a temporary basis but don't expect this to last for long. It may end up sooner than you expect. Create an end plan as soon as you can. Set this on a goal that can justify the stress or homesickness of being a part. When you work on a goal, it is set on a target and a specific time frame. It had a duration period. Commitment of both partners must be based on this. Think of and plan that will put an end to all the sacrifices. If you are not married, set a scheduled plan for marriage before you can go on with another plan longer than what you had started. What is important here is the fact that this plan will bind you both into a commitment and security for your successful, healthy relationship.
Distance is detrimental to every relationship. For a long distance relationship to survive, it takes both partner to have a deeper commitment that entails sacrifices. However, aside from these two factors, you need to know more of the behind-the-scene situations for you to be able to help secure your relationship.
By Helen T Dellomes
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